New York or Bust

The day I after returned from New York last month I went to a funeral for a woman I used to work with. Ann was 76, and I'd spent more time with her in recent years than my own grandmother. She was a firecracker of a woman, sporting bright red hair and fancy, long fingernails. She loved life and people and always had a smile on her face. In her younger years, she was a belly dancer. She inspires me, even now.

It's been 44 days since I was in New York, and my flight home from Boston, weary from an entire day of bus and subway and walking, found me looking out the window, eyes welling up. I wasn't ready to leave. So I've spent every day since trying to figure out how I can get back there. Yes: I want to move to New York City.

I believe Ann moved from England to the US...in her twenties. What a brave thing! How much money did she have to her name? What belongings did she take with her? She probably didn't have a job waiting for her when she arrived stateside. Times were different. Jobs were more accessible (were they?).

So I want to move to New York City. So, what? Why should you care? My question to you is: what do you want more than anything? What is big, scary, and absolutely thrilling all at the same time? What is calling your name that requires a substantial sacrifice in order to be achieved? What do you think about day in and day out? This is New York. Not a day has passed since my plane landed on December 16 at Long Beach, ripped from where I was feeling so at home, where I was so in love. I love New York, and this long distance relationship is just breaking me in half. In a good way. And a weird way.

These stirrings have my world all flipped upside down. I have a project at my fingertips that is totally Failure Club worthy. I have created lists, and just last night I earmarked a project in Wunderkit. There are so many things, and my brain wants to worry about all of them, in no particular order. My hope with using these tools is that I can keep myself honest.

Here we go...

Clarification: I am not in agreement with all of the failure club principles. I want to overcome fear, but I don't believe my project is going to fail.